I spent the last couple of months bemoaning my injuries and freaking babying myself. I didn't train for the cert enough or at all. I didn't think I could hit the numbers. Apparently somewhere along the line I forgot what weight I had to lift and press. I stumbled on the numbers...in a notebook.
Baby...the weight I have to pull and press is so very doable I can taste it. If I had effing trained, there would be no doubt that I could pass the deadlift and the military press. Plus training is the process and I effing love the process. I feel like I missed out on something.
We were told we needed knee length socks for deadlifting...so although not entirely evident in this pic...I decided to sparkle.
The strength component of the bench press is also within reach but, honestly, it will still difficult. Ya know what...I am giving it my best effort.
Here is what is making me so angry right now...right this minute. I never ever ever give up on myself. I fight. I do what I need to do. Oh did you say never? Not true this time. I gave up myself. I didn't try or put in the work. Don't get me wrong. I was working out but I wasn't focused on the goals. I WAS EFFING READY TO DROP OUT OF THE CERTIFICATION. I appreciate the fact that Dr. Hartle convinced me otherwise.
I am facing tomorrow with a new frame of mind. Anything can happen. Anything is possible. By the end of the weekend I may actually pass a skill or two. Rock on...
Yes, bear with me everyone. I will be pretty obsessive until this weekend is over. I am trying to mentally get my head in the game. Until Tuesday it will be blah, blah, blah barbell, blah blah blah StrongFirst, and blah blah blah certification. Hang in there with me please.
When I am training at the gym or at a certification, I really like to push my limits. I want people to respect the amount of weight I can lift. I think when people look at me they realize my strength. I've worked hard. I have been dedicated. I like showing that off...so to speak.
Skill of Strength - home base for the weekend.
I also did a barbell user course here. Find me in the picture
if you can.
The SFL this weekend will be different. My injury really does limit what I can do at the moment. I won't be squatting. Goblet squats with an 8 kg kettlebell are a challenge at the moment. I didn't train my press or bench because I was in a funk nor did I want to hurt myself. I am not sure what weight I can bench or press.
Anyway, as the excitement builds, let me share some videos and words from Strong First (not necessarily barbell).
The following video does bring tears to my eyes. First, because it is so exciting. StrongFirst weekends are amazing. Second because I will not be able to fully participate in the weekend as I had planned.
I am an introvert who willing does the StrongFirst experience. Go figure!
For some reason I am having a difficult time writing this post. I planned to do it Thursday night and then on Friday. It just never happened. Maybe the difficulty stems from the fact is that I don't really have a decision on whether or not I can participate in the SFL or maybe I think it just gets tiring hearing me talk about me.
LIMBO...a state of uncertainty. It had been a very difficul two weeks...my knee was huge, I couldn't sit without pain down the leg into the ankle, I was taking the elevator to the second floor at work (say what) and it took an act of God to get my right leg into the car. There were days that the leg felt not so bad but that was rare. Of course I wasn't sitting still...I drove this sorry ass leg to New York City and back and Jamestown, RI and back. I walked NYC dragging my right leg behind me. I even danced a couple dances at the Narraganset Café. Hey, when this song is being sung by DD Bastos who can resist.
Finally, Thursday afternoon was the orthopedic appointment. X-rays showed osteoarthritis in both knees, left worse than right. No shit. Does anyone over 50 not have osteoarthritis in their knees? Problem was that the osteoarthritis in my right knee, which had been dormant, decided to cause trouble. The result was huge swelling and lots of pain. No way could I bend that knee. The ortho doc drained 40 CCs of fluid from the right knee...said it didn't look like an infection but was going to test it anyway. He was also testing for gout. A discussion about a cortisone injection ensued but I said I don't mind having something taken out of my knee but I didn't want anything put in...at least at this point. The MD did say to make sure to treat with Kevin and keep the other stuff going on in the right leg under control. Appointment made. Monday 9:00 AM. Ortho doc told me to rest it for 24-48 hours. Of course, the question becomes...please define rest. I just spend the past weekend walking and dancing with a bum leg. After the third request to define what rest meant, he asked what I did for a work out...he said no squats or deadlifts for a couple weeks. All the medical professions (MD, PAC and student) leave the room, I hope off the table and I could walk...like a normal person. I was so excited I proceeded to tell everyone who crossed my path. Oh this was after announcing it in the hall. I would say I was about 75% improved. Friday I felt 90% better. THE CERTIFICATION WAS A GO, AT THIS POINT, IN MY WARPED MIND. Yo, Patti, not so fast. I am walking, resting and working out. Something still feels a little off. There are definitely no squats in my future right now. I am not sure what my next steps should be.
I do need thank you to everyone who reached out to see how I was. It was much appreciated. I didn't realize how terrible I felt until I felt better. Caring and concern from other people helped. My sense of satisfaction and gratitude returned Friday. I was working on gratitude those two weeks and it did help but I wasn't 100% in. (How could I not have been grateful to see Jordan Calixto perform at Juilliard? How could I have not been grateful to see Kat and Rick, watch D.D. perform, and eat eggs?) In case you are wondering how I defined rest today, here is the work out I did...
Four rounds of the following
Bicep curls 6 reps with 25 pound weight.
Some triceps 8 reps with 25 pound weight
Overhead presses 6 reps with 12 kg KB
Some band stuff that I don't know what it is called 20 reps
KB rows reps with 14 kg KB
One legged RDLs 8 reps with 16 kg KB (left leg only)
One leg seated squats on the left only,
I did do some KB deadlifts with a 16 kg KB.
Because I love carries, I had to try some out...Farmer's carries with 35 pounds didn't cause any pain on either side. I tried racked carries on the left and it was painful so I stopped those. Overhead carries caused no pain on the left but did on the right.
At this point, I did one handed swings on the left side with a 12kg KB which was pain free. Didn't even attempt the right. I did 5 rounds of 10.
I had planned to see if I could snatch on one side but then forgot. Really...I forgot.
So I am doing some work outs but none that will help me pass the certification. Hanging in limbo.
Just jumping in to post a couple of work outs on the road to certification. Weights are progressing. I am getting into a rhythm and a groove. As I've said many times, I have to enjoy the process to achieve the goal. So far, so good.
Warming up at the Y
Week 3; Day 1 at Skill of Strength on Thursday 3/24/16
This was my first time doing the open gym at SOS instead of the Barbell Class. I went to follow the program and to get some feedback. I gotta tell you...when I start new at a new gym I feel so awkward. It takes me awhile to adjust. I need to learn how people operate at a new gym. ARRGGGGG
Here are the stats:
Deadlift: I pulled 150 pounds all 5 sets. It felt easy. Here is what I learned...if it feels easy, go up in weight. Yes, I knew that but I needed someone to say it to me.
Bench Press: Started at 45 pounds. Way to easy. I went up and ended at 70 pounds. Next week 70 pounds will be my starting point and I will go up from there.
Then I did my circuit of rows, shoulder taps and swiss ball hamstring curls to end the night.
I did a warm up and stretching at the end. Then I made the long drive home from Chelmsford to Lynn.
Week 3; Day 2 at the Torigian YMCA on Saturday, 3/26/16 Holy crap and not because it is Easter. The Y was packed this morning. I was concerned about getting the work out in. After I was finished warming up it had cleared out.
Military Press: I decided for some unknown reason it would be a good idea to start at 55 pounds. It wasn't. I took off weight and did the second and third sets with 50 pounds. Much better decision. I did the last set with 55 pounds and it felt good.
After my first set, I felt a bit discouraged. I have to hit 115 pounds by June 10. When I finished up I felt much better. I had regained my confidence.
Barbell Romanian Deadlift: As I was loading up the bar and was at 135 pounds, a guy at the gym said to me, "Are you going to press that?" I laughed and said no. Stop and thought about it and said, well for my current goal I need to get close to 135 pounds. This guy, who I've seen at the Y paid me a very nice compliment. He said if anyone at the gym could lift that weight you can. You will get there. I've watched your dedication in the gym. You will do this. Usually these compliments make me uncomfortable but I took it in the spirit it was meant and said, "Thank you very much. I appreciate it." And...I felt good.
I advanced the RDL to 145 pounds this week. 145 was where I needed to be today because I am doing 10 reps for each set. This is not an exercise I have done frequently. I am loving the moment. My butt is loving it too.
I finished with TRX rows, skater squats, and stir the pot. My program calls for split squats but I have been unable to do them because of bad toes. Today, I decided to make the adjustment and do skater squats...felt like a good decision. I have not done them for awhile so I only used two 7.5 weights.
No, I did not use a weighted vest while doing the skater squats as Ben Bruno did in the video below.
I read a posting by Jill Coleman in which she talked about setting a theme for the year...not a goal specifically or a resolution but a theme or mantra. Her 2016 mantra is joy. (You can find her here: https://www.facebook.com/JillFit/?fref=ts )
When I think about it, my mantra for the past several has been "living out side my comfort zone." It wasn't a conscious decision but it evolved. I've put myself in uncomfortable positions (for me) and survived. Maybe you could even say I thrived. Because of my increasing ability to "comfortably" live outside my comfort zone, I was able to attend the StrongFirst certification and pass.
Jill's post motivated me to reflect on what my 2016 theme or mantra should be. I have an agenda I want to advance. Not only that but for the past several years, I have not thought about learning, more specific learning new things.
So I spent time thinking what my new theme for 2016 it would be "work hard" but the words that stuck with me were adventure, challenges, confidence and learning.
And then today I read this by Glennon on her blog, Momastery...
"I don’t want a new, better life in 2016. I just want new eyes to see that my life is already staggeringly beautiful. I don’t want to be a better mom in 2016. I just want new eyes to see that the miracle is not good better best — the miracle is that these people are mine and I am theirs. Full stop. And I don’t want to be a BETTER ME in 2016. Screw that. I don’t want to chase after some imaginary more fabulous version of myself. I AM what the people I love need. I already AM. And when we are always BECOMING we have no room to BE. So I’m done striving. I’m fine, thanks. I’m showing up to love my people and you and the world this year JUST AS I AM." Hmmmm...living outside your comfort zone wasn't a theme I picked at the beginning of some random year. It just evolved. It was really just me being me.
But, I do have serious changes I want to make this year. Do I need to define them or name them or do just need to do them?
Ultimately, I need accountability...not that it always works. Some, only some of my goals, are shared below...only some. Some are private. Also, for a very long time I have been very good at just being...I've always just be able to be. In my opinion, a better life comes from reflection and improvement. That doesn't mean you weren't good enough before. It doesn't even mean you weren't the very best. It just means life can be more interesting.
So...with a sense of adventure, with confidence while seeking challenges and promoting a sense of learning....
I got my SFG certification because I did want to train people. I want to turn people on to the correct use of kettlebells. Yet, despite having people who want me to train them I've held myself back with excuses. I need a name. I need insurance. I was traveling. I was traveling for work. I need a plan. Hello...adventure, confidence, challenges and learning. This needs to be the year and soon.
I've tried Spanish, French and German and have completely unsuccessful learning a foreign language. It is scary. So...I've decided I want to attempt...no wait...I want to learn Italian. Knowing a second language makes you a better person when traveling the world. Adventure, CHALLENGE, CONFIDENCE, and learning.
Barbell...anyone who knows me knows I love the bar. I've missed it. My Deadlift PR was 210. Since finishing the cert process, I've only been able to pull a max of 175. So, it is the year of the deadlift!!! And hopefully the year of the Strongfirst Barbell Certification. None are currently scheduled.
I did a StrongFirst Barbell user course at Skill of Strength...a gym in Chelmsford. Awesome. Great place. Great people. A little far. Maybe I can figure out a way to train for the Barbell there.
All of this reminds me of the battle of Brendan Rearick, who was a trainer at MBSC when I trained there. He was not just any trainer. He was a rock star trainer. He now suffers from aplastic anemia. His current campaign is "COLLECT EXPERIENCES NOT THINGS." Since learning of his condition I have tried to own that thought. You can learn more about Brendan here.
So what has been going on...with each passing week I am become more confident with my ability to pass the certification. I am nervous about the fact that people will be staring at me and judging my technique but that is to be expected.
But can you snatch? Yes, I do believe I can. I have been following Iron Body Studios certification program and training with Artemis. There was a problem with my snatch. I was opening my hand at the top. Once I started opening my hand another problem resulted...crazy bruising at the wrist bone. It was very painful and it was evidence something was wrong with my form.
I explained the painful problem to Artemis and it was solved. Break the arc! Now it took some work and I am still working on form but I am much improved from when I began this journey.
This week I started snatching with my test weight. I did 9 rounds of 9 with 12 KGs on Saturday. This is what it looked like.
There were some pictures with crazy ass faces. Those will not make the internet.
Listening to Artemis pays off...until I had a couple set backs. The first one was this.
This big ugly blister on my left hand after snatching at work last week. I don't show this as a badge of honor but an area of snatching. Was I doing my snatching correctly? What was going to happen when I did a gazillion snatches before the test? How was I going to prepare before the test? I cut off the skin but not quite enough of it. I made the brilliant decision to attempt to pull it off. Ouch. It is healing and I am still able to snatch.
My second concern became...how was I ever going to be able to pass the snatch test. I wasn't snatching enough. I twisted my perspective. I was thinking I was snatching 90 times in 9 minutes. Nope....180 in 9 minutes. I will be good. Yesterday's work out at Iron Body Studios will Artemis increased my confidence just a bit.
Not a surprise to many of you I'm sure. Here is the thing. I needed two 25 pound KBs at home to help with my training. I have to say I am a tad disappointed. This is my 4th CAP KB. I have a 45 pound and two 35 pounds. They are beautiful. This new one is not so beautiful. The underside of the handle has some burrs and metal pieces. At the moment it doesn't feel so great.
As you may know, I made the decision to sign up for the certification. After a week-end, a Monday and a Wednesday of really strong training, I am glad I did. After a great work-out on Saturday I formulated a more interesting blog post. However, it is now Wednesday and that interesting blog idea is long gone.
Let me just say my snatch feels like it is making progress. I feel like there is hope. This morning I did a more relax snatch test with the 8 KG kettlebell. I did 10 rounds of 10 on the left and 10 on the right in 10.5 seconds.
There are several other related worries but I've decided to relax and enjoy the process.
Those words seem to be my common refrain for these past few months. I am so on a fence here. The problem is I have always believed in my ability to conquer these challenges. I have always feel strong enough to approach a challenge with the expectation of being successful. I believe deep in my heart that I am mentally and physically strong.
Until now...This week I received an email from StrongFirst letting me know there are only 8 spots left for the Boston (Somerville actually) Level 1 certification.
I am trying to figure out if it is my body holding me back or my mind (and the thought of spending all that money if my body isn't operational does make me crazy).
Artemis at Iron Body Studios wrote the perfect motivation blog post this week. It is worth a read. It speaks to commitment, dedication, and focusing on a goal.
But what if it really feels like my body isn't cooperating. For example, I have always been proud of my ability to squat. Ass to the grass baby. I could barbell squat 75 pounds and easily squat two 12 pound KB. Not so much this week. Okay, not just this week but recently. It just isn't feeling right. That is just one example.
Then I think, for me, it isn't always about the end result. I enjoy the process. The process of training and the process of participating in the program.
Or maybe I am just waiting for the class to fill up so I can say to all of you and myself, "Ya, I was going to do the certification but the class filled up before I could sign up."
I feel like a yoyo here.
My question to you is...What would you do?
If you are really interested in what this is all about, check out this article...
Changes are coming in 2015. Starting the new year isn't about making resolutions. It is a time to reflect on the past year and think about the future.
In less than 3 weeks I will be 57 years old. Each decade, each year is different. It is so much easier being 57 than 27. Those five decades have been the seasons of my life. I thought Landslide was a song about aging. I play the video on or near my birthday...always. The line on replay in my mind...
"Can I handle the seasons of my life? I don't know."
It is possible to handle the seasons and accept aging when you know when it is time to make changes and know when it is time to challenge yourself. Of course everyone's limitations and challenges are different.
For some reason, I spent some serious time thinking about the past year. I felt I had to analyze the good, the bad, and the ugly to move forward. Time was spend thinking about changes I want to make and challenges I want to pursue. Challenges come first...
So officially, well I haven't sent in my payment yet, I am going to train to become a certified kettle bell instructor. StrongFirst will be doing a certification in Boston in August and I am accepting the challenge.
Just so you know, the certification is a physically demanding three day event that includes a written exam and demonstrating that you can teach. That teaching aspect is what I find to be the most daunting aspect of the certification. I am an introvert and teaching will take me way out of my comfort zone. The 100 snatches in 5 minutes is no piece of cake either but that is a story for another day.
The challenge isn't just about becoming certified. It is about the road to certification. Working at Iron Body Studios with a group of like minded women working toward the same goal is an important part of the journey. Again, a situation way out of my comfort zone. It is about becoming stronger. It is about the mental challenge of not giving up...about finding your last bit of strength and pushing forward. Part of the journey is about accepting defeat when it presents itself. It is about overcoming defeat. If at the end of the journey, I become certified by StrongFirst I will be a very happy 57 year old chica. But I have a lot to learn...
Let the journey begin...I hope you will join me.
Please feel free to share you goals and challenges in the comment section!
Can I also say, part of what I hope to do is improve the blog. I don't mean necessarily mean the content but the layout and presentation. My computer skills are lacking and it is going to take some work to get up to speed. Bear with me.
Side Note: I have always thought that landslide was about getting older and thinking about the changes you might want to make as you get older. Then, when I was looking for a landslide video, I came across this. Guess I had that one wrong.
